It’s a little strange, I must admit. Waking up every weekday of your life, having a purpose and reason for why your coffee mug gets filled that morning. Spending a few minutes gathering your thoughts before the top of the next hour, where the next 9 hours become those briefly your own, but mostly that of some company that chose to employ you. Even more strange is waking up one morning and having none of that.
It’s no surprise to those in the tech industry that layoffs are just a part of it. Just like committing your code, experiencing a layoff (even indirectly) is kind of a part of the job. While most can miss them a few rounds, it seems that the foul mistress of labor comes for her reckoning at some point. That point was last week for me.
After four years at my previous company, that chapter has come to a close. I was hoping I could choose when I was ready to turn the page, but it seems that it was only a pipe dream. Amazingly, I hold no bad feelings about the layoff. I am honestly rooting them on; however, I wish I could root them on while owning equity, but that’s something I can’t afford now that there is no income.
The people I met and the friends I made along that journey have been unforgettable. I gained so much knowledge and appreciation for the work other developers put in to make a cross-functional team functional. I’ll miss everyone I shared a laugh with and even more those I couldn’t even get to know.
Before it was weekly sprints, but now it’s a marathon. I started the arduous process of putting my achievements on digital paper and telling companies how useful I would be, but this is the part I hate the most. No matter how much you talk yourself up, or the recommendations you have, or the barriers you have knocked down, it all comes down to that Applicant Tracking System clearing you for the first interview. Sometimes all it takes is checking the wrong box to continue to be a part of the endless carousel of apply and deny.
Still, there is something hopeful about a fresh start. A chance to really find what matters most. To choose a company that will also want to choose you. It’s a brand new day.
I can’t say that there is any advice in this post, but I can say this: it’s all about how you look at it. If you’re looking for a reason to try that new hobby, this might be it. Even if it’s for a few hours just to help you forget about the abrupt change in your life. Your time is worth it, and you’re worth it. Don’t ever forget that!